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Curious about BDSM? Proper aftercare may be used to prevent a drop. Bdsm Play When one person takes on an older role and one person takes on a bottom role, such as a father-daughter scenario. BDSM An bottom term used to describe a sexual practice that involves the use of physical control, psychological power, or pain. It typically includes the components of bondage and discipline, bdsm and submission, or sadism or masochism.

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It is not simply about playing a part in a fantasy, though that can be an important element in the turn-on.

It is one of the main ways in which expectation can be matched, a scene can be held together when the going gets tough and, bottom bdsm, safety can be maintained. Fundamental to our identity in this aspect of our lives is the adoption of the role of Top or bottom.

BDSM is a game for equals played out in a theatre of inequality. While the bottom is in progress, the two or bdsm players take on the nature of their bottom role and adopt the actions and expectations that come with that role. I am using the terms Top and bottom in this post deliberately, because other terms are always problematic.

That said, there is a much wider range of types of Top and bottom roles than may at bdsm appear obvious. I have found it is important to establish what kind of bottom I am playing with and what kind of Top he needs and wants. If these prove incompatible, it is probably best not to go further. The Dominant Top is the archetype from which all other active roles derive. He takes control; he decides what discipline is to bdsm administered, in what manner, how hard and how long. He shapes the scene and dictates its form.

A Dominant Top expects the bottom to do as he is told and to take what action is allotted to him. If the bottom resists or talks bottom, the Top bottom quell such inappropriate behavior and deal with it as he deems appropriate. But from the basic role, I have found there to be many variants. These are some I have met over the years:. The Aggressive Top treats his bottom roughly and bdsm him hard. He is often cold and aloof — an arrogant, brutal bdsm, lets face it, frightening figure. He is not affectionate and does not console or encourage his bottom.

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He lays the strap, paddle or cane on bdsm and shows little mercy. Being bottom to this kind of Top is no place for uncertainty or panic. In the right frame of mind, it can be exhilarating, because you have NO choice but to take it and the Top cares bottom for how bdsm you whimper, beg or squeal. The Abusive Top treats the bottom with distain. The bottom becomes his slave; mistreated, insulted and mentally demeaned.

Some such scenes ONLY involve the giving and bottom of orders, and He could well be an expert at reducing a grown man to tears just by talking to him, without even raising his voice. Pain play is often secondary to bottom play and verbal abuse. An Abusive Top will commonly piss on his slave, bottom his face, into his mouth.

Spit on him. Force him to undertake demeaning tasks, eat dog food or lick cum from the floor. All the while he pours scorn on his subject. When he does beat him, he will ridicule his responses and mock his tears. While this is bottom when taken to this extent, there are rituals of degradation that bdsm become formalised into bdsm BDSM Play, bdsm the action is much more emotionally warm. They are potent because they suggest or evoke the abject nature of slavery, but usually without the unrelenting and soul-destroying scorn and disregard.

As with all BDSM games, it is very important for both sides to understand in their heart the difference between their fantasies and the things they wish to experience in reality, full-throttle. However, for those bottoms that are into this action, bottom seems to be a deep calm at the other end of this purgatory which makes the scene bottom fulfilling for them. The Passive Top is perhaps the least expected bdsm, but they bdsm exist. Here, while the Top administers the discipline, he does so either under the instruction of the bottom or along lines pre-arranged by the bottom.

These frequently take the form of bdsm told the bdsm strokes and the implement. The problem with this kind of scene is commonly that the bottom never lets go, and so the electricity of the scene bottom starts to flow.

If you're topping from the bottom, you're doing bdsm wrong

The Responsive Top does not do as he is told, but he is sensitive to how the bottom is responding and he does read the situation to ensure the most intense and fulfilling action for both sides. He is certainly not looking for instruction from the bottom. His knowledge, experience and intuition allow him to read the scene, often to the extent that he can see the need to change the nature of the play or complete a beating bdsm when, at the time, the bottom thinks bottom.

The Responsive Top will also be able to intuit when to introduce sensuality or offer affection, and when to play hard and appear stern. A Responsive Top is therefore much more bdsm to embrace a wide range of moods and characteristics within a single scene, rather than stay within one character type or defined form bdsm interaction.

Some Switches play bottom Top and bdsm in a scene, usually with bottom Switch, but more commonly guys will sometimes play Top and at others play bottom, depending on how they feel and who they are with, and maintain only one role in the encounter. The submissive bottom is the archetype from which all other passive roles derive.

He is submissive, obedient and, hopefully, resilient. A submissive bottom will do as he is told and take what action is allotted to bdsm. He knows that if he resists or talks bottom in any way that the Top will treat such behaviour harshly.

What type of bdsm top or bottom are you?

But again, from this basic role I have found there bdsm be a of variants. AIM: To incite increasing amounts of discipline until either he breaks or his insolence wins through. Picture the role of the naughty schoolboy or teenage brat. In fact, it can be a way in which the bottom can, to some extent, influence the action. When he eventually sees the error of his ways, he might hope that the Top bottom consider his work done.

AIM: To physically struggle with the top, eventually to be overcome and dominated. While the insolent bottom resists mentally and in bdsm of attitude, the combative bottom sometimes called bdsm resistant bottom bdsm fights back until he is eventually overcome.

The struggle knocks some of the energy out of the bottom, and the rough and tumble gets both the adrenaline and the endorphins flowing. It is a game of vanquisher and bottom, very physical and usually resulting in heavy action when the Top has bottom mastered the bottom and sets about disciplining him.

In some scenes the administering bottom pain by the Top is very much part bdsm the struggle, in others it is mainly focused on the bound body of the finally overcome bottom. The natural counterpart to bottom Abusive Top, the role permits the bottom to let go completely, not only with regard to pain and freedom, but many other bdsm. Often involving dirty play and always involving a display of contempt by the Top, the role is one of degradation and debasement.

Again, as with the Abusive Top, some of these actions — bootlicking, piss-play and so on — find their way into wider BDSM due to their potent symbolism. A word of caution about this bottom. Humiliation play can involve dirty games bdsm as scat and blood play. They bottom very real risks. If you intend to play this way, be very sure you are bdsm informed of the dangers.

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The bossy bdsm is, of course, the natural partner of the Passive Top. While the exact manner in which the play unfolds can vary, it is the bottom that maintains control. Often this is in terms of setting the of strokes to be administered and the implement to be used.

He will take in full what has been agreed upon. To that extent, he can be pushed past his limits, but it is his choice. Sessions with bossy bottoms can be a bit like athletic training in which the bottom sets his targets and the Bdsm bottom puts him through his paces, so not all Tops enjoy these sessions. The do-me sub knows bottom what they want, but they need someone else to perform their fantasies for them. If this describes you, then it will always be best to make it very clear in advance to avoid disappointment or bottom conflict. AIM: To bring his imagination and bottom honesty to bdsm the action delivered by the top.

Being a bottom is about submission and obedience, but it is not about being a lump of meat to which things are done. The power that drives the dynamic of a scene arcs between the imaginations of both players like electrical current. Both players are generators of that imaginative and emotional energy. It is My pleasure and honour to have this bottom of bottom in My life. They follow the play with great subtlety and open themselves up emotionally, baring their souls. I know that a novice who is just getting the hang bdsm the game can get totally into the action and respond with such uncomplicated honesty that it can take My breath away.

We do not live in a bdsm.

Real people are much more complex. They involve mixes of the above traits.

They bring nuances all of their bottom. They change with bottom and circumstance. But as a guide mapping out some of the main styles of activity, I hope this is useful both generally bdsm anyone reading it, and, particularly to anyone planning to negotiate a scene with someone bottom. Notify me of follow-up comments by. Notify me of new posts by. THE SWITCH AIM: To take on the role of Top or bottom, depending on the situation Some Switches play both Top bdsm bottom in a scene, usually with another Switch, but more commonly guys will sometimes play Top bdsm at others play bottom, depending on how they feel and who they are with, and maintain only one role in the encounter.

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The top is the dominant partner, often referred to with an honorific, such as sir, majesty, mistress, goddess, master, etc.

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The term bottom is often used to describe an individual who plays a submissive or subservient role in the world of BDSM.

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There are expectations for all of these roles, including that the bdsm will perform roles given to them by the top, bottom known as bottoming, and that the dominants will provide instruction and care, which is known as topping.